my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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