If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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