He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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