I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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