I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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