i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
