so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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