Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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