if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You're like the curious george of whores
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I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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