what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so let's talk penis.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize