just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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