the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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