I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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