me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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