paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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