At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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