Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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