Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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