Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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