oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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