I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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