How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
