I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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