I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
