I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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