He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
