Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
