Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
