she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Randomize
