ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
