Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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