you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
