whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize