I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
