I CAN MOONWALK!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
