i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
