What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
