How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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