My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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