why didn't you poke me back
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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