U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we should paint friendship bongs
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