Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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