I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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