that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
