I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
