I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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