Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
