God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
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I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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