he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
