Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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