i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
