it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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