No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
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It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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