I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
