You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
