I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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