She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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