How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
