I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
