MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
