At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
