Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
