forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
